Bailey Powell

Preface: Last week one of my favorite bloggers got ripped into by an online community she writes for. Her readers were calling her unrealistic, disingenuous, and essentially a liar, saying that she presented a brand opposed to an actual portrayal of who she is. While I have complete faith that she is sincere, it made me reflect on my own blog and presentation, ultimately reconfirming my commitment to always present my truest self. Behold, a topic that is not all rainbows and butterflies:

I’m going to level with you. I am plagued by the personal flaw that is the inability to give people the benefit of the doubt. I preach the importance of kindness and then raise an eyebrow at the person who’s asked to sit at my table in a jam-packed cafe. Later I try to justify my steeliness by reasoning that “this isn’t Europe” and “personal space is different here”, but if I was being honest with myself I’d recognize I just felt embarrassed that my knee jerk reaction was so unfriendly. Shameful.

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Although a degree of self-centeredness is innate and expected in all human beings New York seems to be the capitol of looking out for number one. Perhaps because of this I overcompensate and take the mission of not being taken advantage of to an unhealthy level opposed to just polishing up the basic street smarts I should possess. Every cab driver is trying to reroute me for money, every methadone clinic patron is eyeballing my great grandmother’s engagement ring, and every obnoxious person is knowingly neglecting to consider people around them.

Moment of truth: I feel as if someone must earn my kindness by providing me with a reason why they deserve it, and as superior as it sounds I can only guess this sense of entitlement stems from a life rooted in integrity and feeling morally mismatched with people in general. I make unfair assumptions about people because I am tired of being disappointed. I also account my bitterness to the overcorrection, in every sense of the word, occuring in the United States and the constant feeling I’m being smite by those who are undeserving.

It’s an exhausting way to think.

Ideally I would meet every person I encountered with no preconceived notions despite how stereotypical they might appear. The cab driver is new and doesn’t know the best routes and back roads yet. He misses tucking his children in at night becaues he’s out making an honest living on the 5pm-5am cabbie shift. He deserves the benefit of the doubt. The drug addict is giving sobriety his best shot but doesn’t get much support from his worn out friends and family. The only reason his gaze lingers on me is because he’s surprised by my alabaster, sans-ironic-tattoo appearance in our hipster infested Puerto Rican neighborhood. He deserves the benefit of the doubt. The obnoxious person is genuinely oblivious and has imperfect moments like any other flawed human. Perhaps an element of her life is on the rapid decline and her behavior is a temporary reflection of her circumstance. People who reciprocate her snarky demeanor are rendered ineffective, but someone’s relentless kindness will open her up to realizations, possibly assisting in turning the tide down the road. She deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Helping hand.

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Just like any self-bettering task it’s easier to choose another option, something less beneficial for you in the long run and instantly gratifying. Training myself to think positively about people is truly an every day challenge- something I pray about, meditate on, and make a conscious effort to change. I don’t want to think poorly of a person or situation from the jump off. The effort all makes sense whenever you encounter someone who indeed deserved the benefit of the doubt, and is even better when someone just needed a dose of respect and understanding from a stranger as motivation to make a positive change. Be that stranger.

Unapologetically give the benefit of the doubt. Exude an inexhaustible kindness. I’ll try my best to do the same.

Loyally,