A Note to All the Self-Righteous People Who Think a Child’s Behavior is Solely Indicative of Parental Quality
by Bailey Powell
I sincerely hope that you never have to experience finding out otherwise, although it might provide momentary satisfaction to all those good parents with rogue children you’ve so often looked down upon. It’s a shallow thought process to assume that a child’s actions are directly correlated to “parenting skills”. Perhaps you’re forgetting that while a parent is arguably the most influential figure in a child’s life, they are not the lone contributor. Perhaps you’re forgetting the possibility of recessive traits inherited from generations past, causing dispositions uncharacteristic of immediate family members. Perhaps you’re forgetting that at the end of the day children are seperate entities from their parents and will ultimately do what they want whether it be to the delight or chagrin of the guardians involved.
We all know great kids who’ve come from questionable back grounds and/or completely MIA parents. Have you ever noticed that we give those children all the credit? We marvel at their successes and give them the praise they deserve while ignoring their less-than-stellar parents. When thought is given to this notion the ridiculous double standard of blaming perfectly good parents for “bad” children becomes clear.
This post is inspired by a repulsive comment I saw on a news story thread. A cop had shot and killed a teenager for “suspected drug dealing” after following him home, kicking in the door, and immediately opening fire. The kid died while in the midst of flushing a trivial amount of weed down the toilet and a commenter felt the need to express that he felt no sympathies toward the family as they had it coming raising a child like they did.
Obviously this is an extreme example of the 100% parental blame people throw around, but it’s this extremity that displays how cluelessly judgmental so many people are. If half my friends got shot during their teenage years because of a momentary lapse in judgment leading to possession of a trivial amount of a soft drug… half of my friends would be dead or have sketchy gunshot scars. Is this because I hung out with bad kids with negatively influential or drug-condoning parents? No! Nine times out of ten those situations could be chalked up feelings of invincibility and us just being (God forbid) stupid kids.
Next time you find yourself smugly wondering where so-and-so went wrong with their parenting take a moment to reflect on your own life. Have you always done what your parents wished you would do? Has every decision you’ve made been one that would make your parents proud? The answer is a big, resounding NO. (If it’s not, seek counsel because that’s weird.) We all make mistakes because we’re all human, and those mistakes, ladies and gentlemen, are not necessarily reflective of the people who raised you.
Judge with caution.